The Geek Master

Let this post be a warning, to all who would dare challenge Garrick in the ways of Geek Fu. You are truly no match! First we must look at what skills the master uses in his Fu.
The Knowledge
Star Wars: I could go on for hours telling you his Lucas prowess but I am already 30 and I smoke, I won’t live that long so let me some this up. If you know about it, it’s cause he told you. He has a Millennium Falcon server, and has taught his daughter more about star wars than any other geek I’ve meet. Let’s just not go there, it’s not pretty. One day the therapy cost will make it seem… let’s move on
Dungeons and Dragon (RPG’S in general): I’ve played many a game with many a DM or GM who thought they were masters at their craft. They all look like cool kids dabbling in RPGs compared to his abilities. As a player of a 20th level monk I can’t even assume I can take the 1st level goblin out and live through it. God forbid I actually find gold on it, because if ever I decide not to carry it with me for an hour I can be sure something (realistic, and that’s the kicker) happened to it. Really I’m not joking; with most DMs it would be something stupid, where I can at least argue that the Dm is just being pissy. Not so with the master, he just points out the one thing you missed in the description and exposes your gold to it. Also again, this is but a fraction of his RPG skills, no matter the system, or the story if ever he wants he it to be, it’s broken
Computers: not even going to bother, try him… you were warned, try not to embarrass yourself. Let me save you some time, “Yes he’s cert’d in it”. My point in a nutshell, Shakespeare via leet speak!
Ok, let’s say you got a plan, you know something new, or you got Crazy Fu.
Not enough, aside from the knowledge I just didn’t feel like writing down, Token, FireFly, Naria, Harry Potter, etc. you have to get past the daughter problem. Why is this a problem you might ask. It means he’s had sex! (I know, I know, believe me when I say this, His Wife is Hotness. Although honesty she’s just with him for his looks) plus she actually lets him invite other geeks to his house, it gets worse… She cooks for them (yes she’s also a good cook, and has tried her best to make her daughter turn out normal. I would guess its very time consuming, with all the work he does to corrupt her) and has yet to lock the door and pull the ole “no ones home” when the geeks come around. By the by, no she’s normal... er. She did marry him so I’m not making any promises; there is a weird obsession with small plastic skeletons.
But all of this, you (hey it could happen) may surpass, but then you will make a mistake. You see Geek Fu is the knowledge of some things and the lack of all that is not geek. Someone could say “hey hand me that sawzall” or “did you see the game last night?” or even “can you believe Paris Hilton?” and to these things you could answer. Whereas the Master would simply give you a blank stare and ask “there was a game last night? Did anyone level up?”
I bow to you Garrick the Geek Fu Master!
O I forgot one of my favorites! We all listen to podcast right? But do you listen to podcast of D&D games?? He does!
Do yourself a favor, relax, take a drink and hit the link marked Garrick... I could do a blog about his blog and it would probably be better than the one I'm doing now. He's just that... well see for yourself.